Note: This satirical piece is not meant to be an accurate reflection of all millennials, who are commonly misunderstood as a generation.

Adulting is too hard. There’re bills to pay, a 9-6 to show up to, house chores to complete. You can’t get wasted on Sunday nights anymore, and you can’t sleep in when that’s really all you want to do.

But because we’re millennials, we get the exclusive privilege of quitting adulthood. A laissez-faire life begins with running away from all adult responsibilities and going on a permanent hiatus. No goal-setting; no self-discipline required.

Bottom line is: You can run away from your adult responsibilities all you want. Just remember that you and your friends have gargantuan egos to feed via social media, so make sure that you look stylish when making your escape. With Under Armour’s sports shoes, you can continue to post #fashionista #fitspo #instadaily photos whilst living the #runner #blessed #carefree life:

If You’re Running Away From Eating Healthier

Your body is supposed to be a temple, but who cares because you’re not religious.

Besides, your only religion is yourself, so your body can be whatever it wants to be. No healthy eating? No problem. Diets? No way. Junk food all day, every day? Yes please.

If your cholesterol levels and blood pressure start catching up on you, you just have to get ready to outrun them. With Under Armour Men’s UA Mirco G® Speed Swift Running Shoes, you’ll be wolfing down your next KFC fried chicken meal quicker than you can say “heart attack”.

Men’s UA Mirco G® Speed Swift Running Shoes
Men’s UA Mirco G® Speed Swift Running Shoes

Direct purchase from Under Armour: RM344.25; through ShopBack: RM333.90

If You’re Running Away From Paying Rent

It’s perfectly okay not to pay your rent on time. After all, you’ve often heard that life is about living on the edge, right?

Just bide your time and prioritize your money on far more important things, such as expanding your cosmetics collection and going on a shopping trip to Bangkok.

If your landlord sees your Instagram posts and chases you for rent whilst wielding threats, just slip on your newly-purchased Under Armour Women’s UA Threadborne Slingflex Shoes and run for cover.

Women’s UA Threadborne Slingflex Shoes
Women’s UA Threadborne Slingflex Shoes

Direct purchase from Under Armour: RM464.25; through ShopBack: RM450.30 

If You’re Running Away From Doing Housework

You don’t need to live in a clean house. Dirty clothes strewn all over denote your territory; unwashed dishes and dusty floors make for a rustic, lived-in home style.

But chances are that you don’t live alone – you live with your parents or your spouse. That guarantees the presence of incessant nagging, which you’ll always be tempted to run away from.

The next time that happens, don’t succumb to the pressure and clean up after yourself. Just grab your pair of Under Armor Men’s UA SpeedForm® Fortis 2 Running Shoes, and run as far away as you can.

Men’s UA SpeedForm® Fortis 2 Running Shoes
Men’s UA SpeedForm® Fortis 2 Running Shoes

Direct purchase from Under Armour: RM494.25; through ShopBack: RM479.40

If You’re Running Away From Holding A Stable Job

You don’t need a full-time job; neither do you need that big, fat (or skimpy) cheque. As a millennial, you possess the curious ability to survive on your ideals and air alone.

Somehow, you manage to look unproductive no matter what you’re doing. You could be on the computer sending job applications or on the phone checking up on an anxious friend; as long as you’re still breathing, you’re going to attract questions and assumptions from others.

The next time someone asks you for the 52nd time when you’re going to get a stable job, one that you’ll hold for more than 2 years, resist the temptation to scratch him/her by fleeing the scene with your Under Armour Women’s UA SpeedForm® Slingride TRI Running Shoes.

Women’s UA SpeedForm® Slingride TRI Running Shoes
Women’s UA SpeedForm® Slingride TRI Running Shoes

Direct purchase from Under Armour: RM599.00; through ShopBack: RM563.05

Keep running away from adulthood, you guys. Peter Pan never grew up, so neither do you have to!

ShopBack is now offering 6.00% cashback on full-price items and 3.00% cashback on clearance/markdown items.

All images belong to Under Armour Malaysia.