If you think you’ve seen everything, you obviously haven’t come across oddly-flavored lip balms. Dill pickle, pizza, gasoline, permanent marker. We wonder how people don’t barf when they have the smell of stink, grease and lecture halls on their lips. Why anyone might enjoy them is beneath me, but hey, to each her (or his) own…

Just in case you’d like to explore a fetish as such or buy eyebrow-raising flavors as pranks or bad Christmas gifts, here’re 8 of the most memorable lip balms you’ll ever come across:


Catnip

Catnip LB
Image credit: @WildRoseHerbs | Etsy

Perfect for: Green-fingers, deviants, cats and their hoomins.

This might well be the most dangerous lip balm you can ever own. Cats are known to steal, kill and destroy for even the teeniest portions of catnip, so if you own a cat or live near one, you can count your lips as loss. Attempt at your own risk!

More Information

Seller: @WildRoseHerbs on Etsy.com
Item Name: Cat Lip Balm
Price (Excludes shipping fee): MYR 16.60

Dill Pickle

Dill Pickle LB
Image credit: @soapopotamus | Etsy

Perfect for: Expectant moms with inclinations towards midnight cravings. Also, people who always ask for extra pickles in their burgers.

If you’re preggers and often have to suppress your urge to indulge in stinky funky-smelling pickles during office hours, this lip balm might just rescue your sanity. We don’t recommend licking the product, but perhaps smelling it will achieve a good-enough effect on you?

More Information

Seller: @soapopotamus on Etsy.com
Item Name: Big Dill Shea Lip Balm
Price (Excludes shipping fee): MYR 12.60

Milky Cereal Bowl

Milky Cereal Bowl LB
Image credit: @soapopotamus | Etsy

Perfect for: Those who, for some reason, can’t just go get a bowl of milk and a box of Froot Loops from the nearest 7-11.

Smelling like leftover breakfast doesn’t sound remotely attractive to us, but some folks sure like to kiss a pair of lips that does. Give your perky pout a sweet and fruity shimmer, and it’ll be like you’re 4-years-old all over again!

More Information

Seller: @soapopotamus on Etsy.com
Item Name: Fruit Loops Shea Lip Baml
Price (Excludes shipping fee): MYR 12.60

Bacon Everything

Bacon LB
Image credit: @MollyRoseBalms | Etsy

Perfect for: The #baconislife #baconlover #baconmakeseverythingbetter #baconisgoodforme tribe.

We love our bacon, but having the distinct smell of pork and lard loitering around beneath our noses might put us off quite a bit. Not that it’ll bother you though, you who are a true worshipper of bacon! The three bacon flavors in this set have you covered from dawn to dusk – maple bacon for breakfast, regular bacon for lunch and chocolate-covered bacon for supper (the lip balms are all 100% vegan, BTW). #baconlifeforever!

More Information

Seller: @MollyRoseBalms on Etsy.com
Item Name: 3 Strips Of Bacon Gift Set
Price (Excludes shipping fee): MYR 51.00 (for 3 pieces)

Peach Cobbler Pie

Peach Cobbler Pie LB
Image credit: @EclairNaturalLipBalm | Etsy

Perfect for: Dessert-crazies and food bloggers (if there’s any difference at all).

It might sound cute to smell like a peach and a pie, but we don’t see why you’ll want to torture yourself this way. Can you imagine your excitement with the newfound lip balm flavor turning into a full-blown raging hunt for peach pies at the most inappropriate timings, such as during a client meeting or a first meet-the-in-laws dinner? No, you can’t. But if you must…

More Information

Seller: @EclairNaturalLipBalm on Etsy.com
Item Name: Peach Pie Lip Balm
Price (Excludes shipping fee): MYR 23.20

Gunpowder

Gunpowder LB
Image credit: @RadicalWorks | Etsy

Perfect for: Sadists, just sadists.

If smelling like death and war is your jam, this ammo-scented lip balm will send you straight to seventh heaven. Revenge lips? Perhaps not. But this is definitely how ‘smokin’ hot lips’ should smell like!

More Information

Seller: @RadicalWorks on Etsy.com
Item Name: Gunpowder Scented Lip Balm
Price (Excludes shipping fee): MYR 21.00

Permanent Marker

Permanent Marker LB
Image credit: @RadicalWorks | Etsy 

Perfect for: Nerds, teachers’ pets and Hermoine Grangers everywhere.

We’ll probably swipe this all over our friends’ bags as a foul prank, but who can judge what you do with yours, right? If you’re going to put this on your lips, know that you’re taking a calculated risk – don’t blame your friends for running away from the deathly smell of lecture halls and new assignments. It’s nothing personal!

More Information

Seller: @RadicalWorks on Etsy.com
Item Name: Permanent Marker Scented Lip Balm
Price (Excludes shipping fee): MYR 21.00

Pizza

Pizza LB
Image credit: @soapopotamus | Etsy

Perfect for: Everyone who wants to be the next ambassador of Pizza Hut.

You can’t live in Pizza Hut, but you sure can smell like one. Upgrade your pizza life with the perpetual smell of Super Supreme (for the uninitiated, it’s beef, sausages, ham, olives, mushroom, onions and pineapples). Sounds like it’ll smell pretty darn good – that is, until it turns rancid like every kind of old leftover pizza. Lick it whilst it’s hot!

More Information

Seller: @soapopotamus on Etsy.com
Item Name: Pixxa Shea Lip Balm
Price (Excludes shipping fee): MYR 12.60


Conclusion? You ain’t seen nothin’ yet!

If you want some normal tasting lip balm, then just visit your usual stores at Lazada or Althea and get yourself some cashback while you’re at it. It’s a Christmas present for someone and a present for you.

Note: All prices are calculated based on approximate currency conversion at the point of writing.